Moving from a two-parent household to a single-parent lifestyle is stressful for both parents and children. Everyone involved will have feelings like anger, guilt, fear, jealousy and sadness. As the parent, you need to find another adult who will understand your situation and offer you support. Then you will have more energy to help your children deal with what they are feeling. Have regular family meetings or talk one-on-one with each child about the changes happening in your lives. Here are some other things to keep in mind to help your family adjust:

• Realize that almost everything in your life will be affected in some way — relationships, job, social life, finances, feelings and health.
• Attitude is everything. How you view being single will have an impact on how your kids adjust.
• Talking so kids will listen requires hard work. The way you say something is as important as what you say — listen for the tone of your voice.
• Listening means using your ears twice as often as your mouth.
• Make your home a safe place for your kids to open up about their feelings — both good feelings and not so good ones.
• Accept the emotions you and your children are having during this transition. It is difficult now, but keep in mind, things will get better with time.
• Kids ask hard questions. If your child asks, "Why doesn't Mom/Dad do...?" say, "Gee, I really don't know. I bet s/he could answer that."
• Never "bad mouth" the other parent. That parent is a part of your child and saying negative things can affect the child's self-esteem.
• There's nothing wrong with admitting a mistake. Your child will respect your honesty. People often behave differently during times of change and stress. Children may react in a variety of ways. Some children will act younger than before the death/divorce/separation. For example, a child may start thumbsucking or bedwetting.

Other Behaviors You Might See Include:

• Temper tantrums
• Angry responses, expressed either physically or verbally
• Problems in school
• Clinging to parent
• Reports more headaches, stomach aches, etc.
• Nightmares

Be patient with these behavior changes. Kids have fewer coping skills than adults. Be supportive of your child and show your love by:

• Accepting the child's feelings
• Remembering the child is still a kid
• Avoiding unnecessary changes in lifestyle
• Answering all of your child's questions about the changes in your lives as honestly as possible. If you don't know the answer to a question, promise to get it and get back to the child. Then do as you promised

Ten Stress Busters for Single Parents:

1. Exercise daily
2. Keep your normal routine
3. Do pleasurable activites for yourself and family
4. Have regular family meetings to talk openly with your children
5. Review and revise your expectations - make them reasonable
6. Pay attention to your wants and needs, as well as your children's
7. Have someone to talk to who is positive and supportive
8. Make steps, no matter how small, toward recovery from the death/divorce/separation
9. Think about getting professional help
10. Keep depression in perspective

The information was developed by The Family Conservancy from a variety of professional resources. This is not a standardized measurement tool.