April 1
Ways to Protect Children
During April and throughout the year, Kansas Citians are being asked to protect children by:

• Learning the facts about child abuse
• Knowing the potential signs of abuse and neglect
• Keeping an eye on the children in your neighborhood and community
• Speaking out when you see potential signs
• Knowing who to call if you suspect abuse or neglect 
• Looking for ways to aid and support families with children
• Learning how to manage stress while caring for children
• Committing to participate in Wear Blue Day on April 18th

The Family Conservancy will run child abuse prevention tips all monthlong.

April 2
Wear Blue Day is April 18
You're invited to join Kansas City area organizations in wearing blue on April 18 as a visible commitment to support child abuse prevention.

Visit The Children's Place website and click on 30 Days Many Ways to Keep Our Kids Safe: Our Shared Responsibility to add your name to the list of participants in Wear Blue Day 2008.

April 3
How to Spot Child Abuse
Here are some behaviors and physical changes that might indicate child abuse:

• Frequent or unexplained injuries or bruises
• Changes of behavior, such as becoming withdrawn to overly aggressive
• Overly sexual behavior or expressions
• Signs that a child is not getting enough to eat
• Lack of hygiene
• A decline in school performance
• Low self-esteem

April 4
Child Abuse Prevention Resources
For more information on child abuse prevention, visit these Web sites:

• Children’s Trust Fund of Missouri / www.ctf4kids.org
• Citizens for Missouri’s Children / www.mokids.org
• Missouri KidsFirst / www.missourikidsfirst.org
• Prevent Child Abuse America / www.preventchildabuse.org

April 5
Child Abuse Facts
Although it's common to think that child abuse is on the decline, when you look at these figures it's clear that we have a long way to go.  Here are statistics for the Kansas City, Missouri, metro area, including Clay, Jackson and Platte counties.

In the month of July 2007

• Approximately 1,000 child abuse/neglect hotline calls were made
• 189 children in the custody of the Children’s Division had been in 6-10 placements

Fiscal Year 2006

• 8,259 reports of child abuse/neglect
• 4 fatality referrals

Sources: Children’s Services Management Report, Children’s Division Annual Report, Fiscal Year 2006

April 6
Who to Contact
If you have suspicions, then it's up to you to report the suspected abuse or neglect. It's not up to you to confirm the abuse.  It will then be investigated by the proper authorities.

• In Missouri: 1-800-392-3738
• In Kansas: 1-800-922-5330

April 7
At the Limit of Your Patience?
Although it’s deeply rewarding, parenting can also be tough. The demands on your time, attention, energy and money can add stress. How are your coping skills?  When you feel like you can no longer respond to your child:

1. Stop
2. Sit down
3. Calm down

Find a friend, relative or neighbor to come help. Make a mental list of family members, friends or neighbors you can call on when you feel stressed.

Why managing your stress well is important

• Children learn to manage stress from seeing you deal with it
• You will enjoy your children more

Tips for Finding Your Calm Button

• Cut back on less important obligations
• Keep strong ties with family, friends and neighbors
• Feed your soul with activities that interest you
• Have something special in the house just for you
• Find out what calms you down ... a nature walk, a hot bath, calming music?
• Take care of yourself

April 8
Top Hot Buttons
These tough parenting challenges often cause serious frustration in families.  Learn some tips for how to handle each issue:

• Crying babies
• Bedtime issues
• Potty training concerns

April 9
Developmental Disconnects
It's common for parents to get frustrated with children if they believe a child is capable of a behavior.  Make sure your expectations of your child's abilities is consistent with what's common for that age child to  handle by checking out  our developmental milestones:

• Parenting Babies
• Parenting Toddlers
• Parenting 3- to 5-Year-Olds
• Parenting 6- to 8-Year-Olds
• Parenting 9- to 12-Year-Olds
• Parenting Teens
• Parenting Links & Information
• Multiple age groups

April 10
A Simple Way You Can Help
Don't have young children and wondering how child abuse prevention relates to you?  A simple way you can help others is to volunteer to be an emergency contact or resource for families in your neighborhood. For example, you could be a back-up for the babysitter if she has questions or gets locked out of the house.

April 11
Why Babies Can Die From Being Shaken
Because babies' brains are heavy and their necks are not fully developed, they are more susceptible to injuries - and could even die - from being shaken.

Because shaking causes the brain to swell, a shaken baby can develop irreversible brain damage, spinal cord injuries, blindness, cerebral palsy, loss of hearing, seizures, learning disabilities and even death.

Caregivers may get upset by a child's crying and shake a baby or child out of frustration. After enough shaking, a baby will stop, either because the child is unconscious or because the brain has swelled and the baby is unable to cry.

Click here for tips on how to calm a crying baby. 

April 12
Need a Break from the Kids?
It's healthy to take occasional breaks from your children, it refreshes you and helps you better handle difficult times.  One idea to help you get a break that's light on your checkbook: start or join a babysitting co-op.  Touch base with a few other parents and propose that you take turns watching each other's children periodically.

April 13
'Red flags' for Shaken Baby Syndrome
These signs may indicate a problem or dangerous situation for a child:

• Child is lethargic or shows decreased muscle tone
• Difficulty breathing
• Extreme irritability
• Seizures
• Decreased appetite or vomiting for no apparent reason
• Bruises on shoulders, neck or arms
• Bulging or spongy forehead
• No smiling or vocalization
• Child is lethargic or shows decreased muscle tone.

• Fortunately, the U.S. consumer Product Safety Commission provides useful guidelines to help you choose the safest crib or bassinet, carrier, changing table, high chair and other baby itemson the market. Visit www.cpsd.gov .
• Suffocation causes the most home fatalities in young children. Keep cribs free of pillows, plastic sheets or large stuffed animals. Don't place infants on an adult bed, they can roll into the space between the bed and the wall. Keep cords on window blinds and curtains away from infants.
• Walkers allow babies to grab things they couldn't otherwise reach and roll into dangerous areas such as stairways. Stationary exer-saucers are safer, but babies should not be confined in any type of equipment for very long.
• Falls are the leading cause of injuries in children under age five. Place safety gates securely at the top and bottom of stairs. Avoid the accordion-style gate that has enough space for a child to get his or her head caught. 

1. Does the caregiver pay attention and respectfully respond to the child?
2. Does the caregiver seem calm and control of her own emotions?
3. Is the children's environment safe? Do the children seem to be getting a heavy does of screen time?
4. Does the provider have a good variety of play materials appropriate to the children's ages - such as stacking blocks, nesting toys and creative materials?
5. Does the caregiver show interest in the children and their activities?
6. Does the child care setting offer a variety in daily activities? Do the children go outside?
7. Are books available for the children?

For more information on selecting a quality child care setting, call 913-573-2273 or visit childcaresource.org

• Cover electrical outlets and keep cords out of reach.
• Place childproof locks on most cabinets.
• Close and lock windows within toddlers' reach.
• Never leave a child unsupervised in the bathroom, especially in the bathtub.
• Do not leave even a bucket of water within reach: because toddlers are top-heavy, they can fall in and drown.
• Do not set your water heater higher than 120 F, and keep a baby's bathwater under 100 F.
• Attach door stops to the tops of doors or replace them with a one-piece unit with no rubber tip, which a baby can remove and choke on.
• Never attach a pacifier to a ribbon, string or cord, and make sure the shield is too big to fit in the baby's mouth and have holes so the baby can breathe if it should get into the baby's mouth.

April 17
Hidden Dangers
Did you know that children can drown in as little as 1 inch of water?  Or that suffocating – such as from choking on something small – causes the most home fatalities in young children?

Why children are at risk for injuries

• Inadequate supervision
• Small stature, large head
• Curiosity
• Horseplay
• Emotional reaction
• Still learning about cause and effect

Top Safety Tips

• Supervision is most important
• Assess your environment
• Suffocation causes the most home fatalities
• Never leave a child unsupervised near water
• Keep cleaners, medicines and poisonous materials out of reach
• Set water heater to 120 F, keep bathwater under 100 F

April 18
Wear Blue Today
You're invited to join Kansas City area organizations in wearing blue today as a visible commitment to support child abuse prevention.

Visit The Children's Place website and click on 30 Days Many Ways to Keep Our Kids Safe: Our Shared Responsibility to add your name to the list of participants in Wear Blue Day 2008.

April 19
Reduce the Risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS)
SIDS stands for Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. These guidelines can help reduce the risk of SIDS:

• Always place a baby to sleep on his or her back, even for naps. This is the safest position.
• Place baby on a firm mattress in a safety-approved crib. Soft mattresses, sofas, sofa cushions, sheepskins and other soft surfaces can increase the risk of SIDS.
• Remove stuffed toys, pillows, quilts and other soft bedding from crib. They may dress up the crib, but they don't belong in the bed with baby.
• Keep baby's face uncovered during sleep.
• Don't smoke around baby.
• Don't let baby get too warm during sleep. Despite what others say, too many layers of clothing or blankets can overheat baby.

• Spanking or hitting causes children to obey out of fear. Children fail to learn self-discipline
• Being spanked or slapped demeans the child and the adult
• Spanking or hitting can lead to abuse or psychological harm. An angry adult may lose control as frustration builds.

April 21
Keeping Your Cool
All children act up sometimes. Young children can become frustrated or confused when they must face the fact that they are not the center of the universe. They need adults' help to find ways to express their feelings and develop a sense of self-control.

Discipline isn't about control or getting the upper hand. It's about shaping and guiding children toward appropriate behaviors that will help them in every aspect of their lives. Discipline helps children understand the concept of right and wrong, and it increases the chances that children will grow up to be happy adults.

Remember these key points:

• Discipline is teaching a child to understand limits
• Children may act out because they want attention
• Children may act out because they need some control
• Children may hurt others because they don't feel important

•   Redirect the child into another activity
•   Praise your child when he is being good to reinforce positive behavior
•   Ask them to sit in a quiet spot to calm down
•   Selectively ignore your child's misbehavior if the child cannot harm himself or others. Praise the child when he or she regains control.
•   Use when-then statements to describe the behavior you want. For example, "When you have picked up your toys, then you may go outside to play."

• Setting routines that give children a sense of order to their day that makes them feel secure that their needs will be met.
• Providing safe places for play.
• Keeping rules simple. Children will try to test the rules, but they need rules to feel safe and secure.
• Giving choices, which allow children to have some control and express their independence. Click for more information on giving choices.
• Being a good role model by staying calm and relaxed, and give positive directions instead of negative ones.

April 24
Why Discipline is Important for Your Child
Discipline actually means “to teach” and it is more about guiding behavior rather than punishment. Discipline

• Instills an understanding of the concept of right and wrong
• Helps children learn self-control
• Teaches respect for the rights and feelings of others.
• Increases the chance of children growing up to be happy adults.

April 25
Discipline Tips

• Each child is an individual and what works for one may not work for another.
• Children need routines to feel secure in knowing their needs will be met. Meal times and nap times should be consistent.
• Stay calm, relaxed and positive in your approach.
• Bend down and talk at the child’s level. Maintain eye contact.
• Give positive commands instead of negative ones, such as “We sit in the chair,” instead of “Don’t stand on the chair.”
• Discipline should come immediately after the misbehavior or the child will not make the connection between the wrong doing and discipline.
• Always separate how you feel about the behavior from how you feel about the child.

April 26
Effective Discipline Strategies

• Redirection is leading the child into another activity. You may need to hold the child’s hand as you guide her to a different activity.example: If a child is throwing blocks, give her a ball.Say “Here’s a ball. Can you throw it to me?”
• Positive Reinforcement is praising behavior you find appropriate. Give the child a lot of attention and catch her being good. If a child receives more attention being naughty, bad behavior will be reinforced. For example: “I like the way you color on the paper.”
• Time out is time spent away from others or from a stressful situation in order for the child to regain control of emotions. For toddlers, time out can be a quiet activity or resting in an area away from noise and stimulation. One minute per year of age should be the maximum time spent in time out (two minutes for a two year old). When the child has regained control of his emotions, he should be allowed to rejoin others in a group.
• Selective ignoring is a way of not paying attention to a child’s misbehavior. This is
  especially useful with temper tantrums. Always be sure the child cannot harm herself, others or property! Once you know the environment is safe, walk away and do not pay attention to the behavior. You may want to say, “I’ll be in the other room. When you are finished having your tantrum, you may come in.” Praise the child when she has regained control and the tantrum has ended.
  Use when-then statements. These statements include what you want the child to
  do and what he wants to do. Always state what you want as the “when,” and what the child wants as the “then”. Examples: “When you have taken a bath, then I will read you a book.”  "When you have picked up your toys, then you may go outside to play.”

April 27
Dealing With Temper Tantrums
If you are unable to prevent a tantrum, these ideas will help you deal with
the behavior.

• Remain calm and ignore the tantrum. If you are in a public place, remove the child from the situation. Carry the child into the restroom or out to the car and then ignore the behavior.
• Try distracting the child with humor or some activity.
• Stand firm in your decision when you say “no.” Giving in to a child having
• a tantrum reinforces the behavior. Children are testing rules and limits
• when they have tantrums. Standing firm gives children security and a sense
• of trust.
• Do not belittle or demean the child. Let the child know you disapprove of
• the behavior, not him. Children having tantrums do not have control of
• their emotions and it can be overwhelming for them.
• Do not argue or try to reason with a child during a tantrum.
• Most children start to talk about their feelings around age three and tantrums
• decline. See your pediatrician if your child shows any of the following signs which
• may signal deeper emotional problems:
• Tantrums continue or get worse after age four.
• Tantrums cause injury to the child or others.
• The child destroys or damages things during tantrums.

April 28
Helping Your Child Manage His or Her Anger
Teach your child how to express him or herself appropriately, control their feelings and think about how their behavior will make others feel. For example: reading your child a book that show situations or scenarios when a child feels angry, sad, etc., shows them that other people also have times when they that way - and possible ways that they can handle that.

• Feelings are difficult for must of us - adults and kids
• Stay in the adult role - respond vs. react
• You can't reason with a child having a tantrum
• Allow you and your child some cool down time
• Label feelings so that you can better manage them
• Sometimes anger masks another feeling - such as hurt or fear
• Be cautious about assigning a motive to your child's behavior. Instead, HALT and asses whether your child is H - hungry, A - angry, L - lonely or T - tired.

April 29
Do You Know Your Parenting Style and How It Influences Your Child's Behaviors?

• Authoritative Style: In this style the parents are nurturing, responsive and supportive - yet they set firm limits for their children. Parents attempt to control their children's behavior by explaining rules, discussing and reasoning. They listen to the child's viewpoint, but don't always accept it. Children raised with this parenting style tend to be friendly, energetic, cheerful, self-reliant, self-controlled, curious, cooperative and achievement-oriented.
• Permissive Style: In this style parents are warm, but lax; fail to set firm limits, monitor children's activities closely or require appropriately mature behavior of their children. Children raised with this parenting style tend to be impulsive, rebellious, aimless, domineering, aggressive and low in self-reliance, self-control and achievement.
• Authoritarian Style: In this style parents are unresponsive, inflexible, demanding and harsh in controlling behavior. They set many rules, require obedience to authority, and favor punishment to control children's behavior. Children raised with this parenting style tend to be irritable, apprehensive, fearful, moody, unhappy, easily annoyed, unfriendly, sulky, vulnerable to stress and aimless.
• Uninvolved Style: In this parenting style parents are unresponsive, unavailable and rejecting. Children raised with this parenting style tend to have low self-esteem, little self-confidence and lack ambition. They seek other, sometimes inappropriate, role models to substitute for the neglectful parent.

April 30
Voice Your Concerns
If something doesn't look right, voice your concern. You can remain anonymous. Let the authorities investigate the child's situation.

• In Missouri: 1-800-392-3738
• In Kansas: 1-800-922-5330

The information was developed by The Family Conservancy from a variety of
professional resources. This is not a standardized measurement tool.